Saturday, 1 September 2012

Chapter Sixteen: Pricked by Reality

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Arnav paced in his lavish room with hard steps to and fro, wearing a white shirt with grey waistcoat and trousers. Blackberry to his ear, Arnav talked down the phone to Lavanya.
Arnav sighed : " I know I know Lavanya, but you know how Dada is..."
Lavanya drying her dark hair with a towel, shook her head and talked to the phone on her dressing table, on loudspeaker.
Lavanya : "You said you could handle it ASR! But this!? What did you think I felt hearing my Dad coming in this morning with the so called 'good news'?!"
Arnav angrily: "OK ok relax! What did you reply!?"
Lavanya sighed and fell back on the bed with the phone to her ear: "Yes of course...What else could I have said with a good reason. Just how Dadaji is to you, My Dad is to me too."
Arnav sat on the bed with a huff and rubbed his eyes with a hand: "Yeah...I know. I...I can't go through with this Lavanya."
Lavanya quietly: "Me neither but listen ASR...It could work yeah...Just give me time...When the paperwork-"
Arnav: "I told you I can help you with that and it would be done in a-"
Lavanya smiled softly : "You know I can't drag you into this. You done so much for me..."
Arnav smiled: "As you have done for me..."
There was a moment of comforting calm silence between the two before Lavanya spoke.
Lavanya: "Time as all ASR I need...."
Arnav mind floated back to Khushi bright smile and the moments he and her have shared so far.
Arnav softly: "How much? What if Dada arranged the marriage before then? * sighed angrily* I can't do it..."
Lavanya: "One step at a time ok. Chill ASR. Lets just go along with it and take things as they come together. Alright?"
Arnav agreeing stood up and walked out the room casually and along the corridor, eyeing the downstairs floor coming up to the stairs down.
Lavanya gently: "Hey listen ASR. We both know why we don't want to get married and stay the way things are, yeah. Me becuase of...me *lightly laughs* and you because of your mum, hmm?"
Arnav had stopped on the stairs, watching with fond eyes as Khushi walked in wearing a sea blue churidar. She was swapping the water jug for the flowers kept in the hall. Usually Devayani did this for her fondness of flowers, however seeing Khushi instead was pleasant surprise. The reason I don't want to marry Lavanya is just because of Maa's absence...right? Arnav shook his head before coming back to Lavanya.
Arnav: "Err..Lavanya..I'll See you soon yeah?"
Lavanya: "Yeah...See you soon ASR."
As soon as Lavanya put the phone down Arnav felt determined to tell Khushi what was going to happen in a couple of days and explain everything.

Just as Khushi turned to leave, she felt herself be pulled back into the darkness of a pillar making her eyes widen. Arnav held her against the pillar with his will body and stared seriously into her eyes. However, Khushi's eyes were glued to Arnav's chest, unable to look into his eyes, while her breathing went shallow with shyness. All sense flew from Khushi's mind as she only think about how close she was to Arnav.
Arnav roughly: "Khushi I need to talk to you....I need to tell you something...I'm getting-"
Khushi's wanting eyes looked up then to meet his as her heart and new found desire was pulsating through her body. Arnav's heart and lungs were held in lock while his eyes stuck with hers. Unable to resist, Arnav lowered his head to kiss her gently, making her eyes close blissfully with a shy smile.
Arnav whispered gently with a heavy heart: "I'm sorry Khushi...But bear with me...and everything will be alright...I promise..."
Khushi was too lost in the kisses to even absorb all the words coming out of Arnav's mouth, however she did catch only the words "I'm sorry". She pulled back with a confused frown. Sorry? What ever for? Arnav  understood her confusion and held her arms.
Arnav regretfully: "Khushi ...I...in a couple of days I'm-"
Madhumati hollered: "KHUSHIIII!? Where are you?!!? Make sure you pick those flowers for your Dadiji's room at least before daydreaming off!!!"
Arnav cursed bad timing while Khushi put her hand on her forehead, cursing herself for forgetting that task. In haste she starts to run off in fear of her Buaji's shouts, only to be held gently by the hand by Arnav. Khushi flicks her hair back with a smile to see his annoyed, but also tense face. Khushi grins before going back to him to quickly kiss his light stubbly cheek. Arnav closed his eyes tensing his jaw while Khushi ran off with a bright blush on her cheeks. Knowing she was gone Arnav sighed and looked to the ceiling hoping another opportunity to come for him to explain and tell her everything.

Devayani stood at the top of the stairs only just witnessing Khushi run away from Arnav with a shy smile. Looking at the expression of Arnav's frustrated face, she watched as he stormed off leaving her wondering.


~


Later on that day Khushi was sat cross legging on the kitchen worktop, with Aman standing in front of the stove. They were both busy in their work; Aman cooking away for dinner and Khushi sorting out the flower combination for the upstairs corridors. Raja was watching them both sitting beside Aman's leg while sweeping his thick feathery tail side to side. Aman looked down to Raja, both sharing the same look, before looking at Khushi with a grin on her face which had been there since morning. 

Raja nudged his nose against Aman's dark navy jeans making him nod. Aman cleared his throat before speaking.
Aman: "Urm..Khushi?"
Khushi didn't respond still lost in her thoughts. Aman tried again.
Aman: "Khuuushi?!"
She then looked at Aman making him smile.
Aman: "Well...Raja and I wanted to ask..urm...*smiling* is there....any...particular reason that you're much...more smiley today?..."
Khushi consciously pressed back her emotions, which wasn't unnoticed by Aman who tilted a smile.
Aman: "Ahaaa! So there is something! hmmm?"
Khushi shook her head shyly before finishing the final touches on the bunches of flowers. She hopped off the worktop and shot off leaving Aman with a confused smile. He looked at Raja who simply put his head on the floor just as confused as he was.


~


After Khushi climbed upstairs making her chiming payals echo all around. Bunch by bunch took down the old flowers she had put the other day and replaced them with the new ones. Khushi had chosen red and orange wild lilies for each bunch and placed them carefully. Going along the corridor when she came to her last bunch which was reserved for Devayani always. Khushi opened the door only to become a silent witness of a heated argument.
Devayani outraged: "Next week!?!? How..HOW could you do this Kushal!! I thought would convince him for the concept of marriage but you actually-"
Kushal sternly: "What? Got Arnav and Lavanya engaged!? You wanted Arnav to agree to marriage so he has. You know he won't look at anyone you think of as an ideal Bahu. So I made it easy and beneficial to everyone. You should be grateful. Would you rather Arnav say no to marriage at all?! He has no other choice other than Lavanya. "
Devayani sat down on the bed defeated and lost in deep thought.
Kushal sighed deeply before turning to the window: "I know you wanted an idea Bahu and the Kashyap's have a reputation, however I believe Lavanya is different. Just becuase one person in the family is corrupt doesn't mean all the members are corrupt too. You usually know Muskaan betiya's words better than me don't you?"
Devayani took this in, but something niggled her mind back to what happened in the morning but also something else. He has no other choice other than Lavanya


Climbing up the stairs to poolside he looked back at Raja excitingly jumping and barking round Khushi,  making her grin and hug him close. Arnav fondly shook his head smiling before entering the Raizada mansion. Giddy with affection he accidently bumped into Devayani.
Arnav: "Dadi!!?? Are you alright!? I'm sorry I-"
Devayani shook her head laughing:" I was about to ask you why you're so happy, but I didn't realize how deep in thought you actually were. * laughs*"
Just then Devayani looked over Arnav's shoulder, only for her laughter to slowly stop. She saw Khushi and Raja in the distance with the same expressions of joy and happiness. She flickered her eyes back to Arnav's face who was scratching the back of his head flustered with the same secret smile. 
Arnav: "It's nothing Dadi. Really. ...Urm I going to the study."
Devayani hmm-ed letting him pass with her mind confused upon the direction her heart was pointing.  She stepped forward to have a better look at Khushi's shy smile as she continued to cut the roses. Aman chirped up to talk about dinner making her leave the floating thought. 

Devayani whispering: "Khushi?"
Kushal not hearing properly: "What was that Devayani?"
Devayani didn't know what she was saying but spoke right from the heart:" I think Khushi would be...urm..Arnav and Khushi-"
Kushal flabbergasted: "No...Please don't tell me your thinking...."
Kushal suddenly started to laugh out loud making Devayani look away from him.
Kushal continued to laugh til: "No...no....*angrily* NO! Do you know what your even saying?!?! Your comparing a girl like Lavanya, whose family is perfect for us to a girl who...who can't speak!? "
Devayani closed her eyes hating the truth but still couldn't shake off that memory of Arnav's and Khushi's shy smiles. It seems impossible..yet...
Kushal curtly: "You know well that Lavanya is Arnav's ..'girlfriend' and he has mentioned this many times, so this unnecessary thought shall never be mentioned again. Refrain yourself from these silly thoughts Devayani. Your grandson is getting engaged in a couple of days time on your birthday and preparations need to be made.* kneeling down beside Devayani* My gift to you...Our Grandson's engagement"
Devayani smiled touched by her husbands thoughts but in her heart it was trying to connect more dots. Is there something between Arnav and Khushi...or is my mind playing games?


Khushi numbly stepped away from the door and felt a tear painfully roll down her cheek. She covered her mouth with a hand realizing why Arnav was saying sorry this morning. She closed her eyes for a minute trying to take in the reality that she had a lacking aspect to be anything to be treated like a normal young woman, let alone a Bahu. A sob shuddered through her body as the small experiences of love scanned her her eyes painfully. I have no right to do things like that with Arnav. It's sin. Arnav is marrying Lavanya which means he love truly loves her...not meBut why didn't he tell me- Khushi remembered back to this morning making her eyes wide. Is that why he was saying sorry this morning?! He wanted to tell me that becuase I can't speak.... he doesn't want...me. It's all my fault! and...and I didn't realize. The pain building in her heart was then wedged into a box, but the cracks on her broken heart still remained. She wiped her tears and went to rush down the stairs,only to halt seeing Arnav staring woefully back at her from the bottom. By looking at the sadness in Khushi's eyes Arnav realized that she knew. She knew of his engagement to come.

Khushi found is hard to have ill feelings for Arnav but she knew that she couldn't hold dear feelings for him anymore. He does deserve better than me...much much better. He has helped me so much and maybe he accidently thought that this was love between us...like I did. It's not his fault. A brave smile appeared upon her lips as she walked down the stairs, hands clasped in one another. Arnav hastily met her halfway.
Arnav : "Khushi...I'm sorry, but-"
Khushi shook her head in response with that fake smile still in place, Arnav felt his heart fail for a second.
Arnav tried to reach out to her to explain what's really going on between him and Lavanya, but she backed away from his touch. This clawed Arnav's chest deeply.
Arnav heart lost: "Khushi?...Khushi I need to explain about Lavanya and me-"
Khushi crying heart didn't want to hear about him and Lavanya, but she couldn't help but wonder. Lavanya must be very pretty and must have a beautiful voice...She shook her head furiously and turned to a worried Arnav. Calming her emotions she gently smiled. Arnav watched as she pointed at him and then at herself before shaking her hands and head. Arnav's heart dropped at what she was saying.
Arnav desperate: "Khushi please-"
Khushi stabbed by smiling again and put her hands together begging him to let her go. She then ran down the stairs, leaving Arnav's suit absorb the lone tear that fell from his closed eyes.

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Do drop your thoughts below :)
x

11 comments:

  1. My heart broke while reading this...I feel so bad for both of them...lovely update as always :)
    nazibah (I-F)

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  2. Just found this blog recently..and I loved your story!! The concept is new and refreshing as well!!!Love the way Devyani,Aman,Buaji love khushi despite everything and they way they try to shield her from people who don't understand her!! I like the way the relation b/w Arnav and Khushit was slowly built up...coming to the latest update...I could feel Khushi's confusion and despair after hearing Khushal's words...and then her acceptance that she is inferior to Arnav just got to me!!Loved it!!Will Arnav be able to convince Khushi of his real intentions???Will Khushal accept them then?? questions..questions... :)
    -raomedhz

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  3. Awww! Khushi is sacrificing herself :'( that's so sweet but she doesnt need to do that. Hopefully, Devyani will see more of their love and both Arnav and Devyanu will be able to confront Kushal about his views on Khushi.
    Thanks!! Great emotional update

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  4. awwwwwwwwwwwww poor Khushi!
    She was being so brave
    And Devyani had hope! Kushal ruined it

    LOVED THE UPDATE

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  5. zara nt receiving pms
    read last 2 updates together..
    u knw i had tears in my eyes reading this..
    i have a frend who lost her voice n the pain at times she goes through is tooo much to bear..
    reading it at times reminds me of her..
    the way u portray khushi is brilliant
    the pain Arnav too is going through n the way u wrote the last line was wow..
    have no words to describe..
    again a fantastic update...
    wats the reason for Arnav n Lavanya to get engaged...
    i want Arnav to propose to Khushi in front of everyone
    loved the diary which khushi wrote..
    she is confused bt knws its love..
    cant wait to read the nxt part
    rkapoor1382

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  6. Awww.... I think i cried just now.. :( Anyways, loved the update. Hope Arnav can explain the real reason to Kushi and this time hopefully she'll listen. :)
    ~Angie~

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  7. this was a heartbreaking chapter. :(
    felt bad for both arnav and khushi.

    IF: Atownsuga

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  8. It tears the heart apart to see khushi in such agony. Arnav is desperately trying to explain the situation to khushi. Loved reading the update.

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  9. Khushi is really a wonderful girl no one can understand her beauty. I feel sorry for both Arnav and Khushi

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